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#tbt to reaching the 5530m/18,143' summit of Ishinca in the Cordillera Blanca, Peru. This photo pretty much sums up high altitude ski mountaineering- it's not all smiling summit selfies (although I have those too). This trip was a huge step for me – it was one of the first international ski mountaineering expeditions that I planned and led. It was also my first return to the Andes after my close friend, @liz_daley perished there nine months earlier. I had to confront many demons on this trip. When I got home, I was physically and emotionally drained. I didn't feel the trip was a success, despite the fact that we climbed and skied from the summits of three monster peaks. It's only now, over a year later, that I can begin to celebrate what we accomplished. Ski alpinism is a funny game. After losing so many friends to the mountains, I begin to question everything. Why do I want to do this? Am I setting a bad example? What's the end game? When will I be satisfied? It's easy to have #bigmtndreams, it's a lot harder to find a healthy balance between risk and reward. Between living on the edge and staying far away from there. Dreaming, planning, training, climbing and skiing are the easy parts, the most difficult is having the courage to walk away when the circumstances aren't quite right. #peruski15 photo: @rob.lea
